When we forgive someone else, often we think of it as “no hard feelings.” In other words, we are willing to set aside our anger, and not hold a grudge against them. We will not harm them, nor sue them, nor do anything to attack them in any way. And that is a difficult pill for many to swallow. But it is our Christian duty, so we will forgive.
The question is: will we accept? Many of us aren’t sure we want to do that. For if we accept the person, treating them as if nothing had happened, then they will think that their wrong against us was “nothing”. If we fully accept them, with no punishment involved, completely loving them as before their wrong against us, then we are opening ourselves up for a fall. “If you fool me once, shame on you; if you fool me twice, shame on me.” After all, we need to protect ourselves, right?
Well, in the Bible, forgiveness isn’t just a matter of our feelings. It is, first of all, wiping away the debt. For those who wronged us, the wrong is no longer there. It is as if it didn’t exist. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t need to be careful with people in their areas of weakness, but we don’t allow their weakness interfere with our relationship. Forgiveness is mostly a matter of relationship. To forgive is not just to say, “I’m not angry about that anymore.” It is saying, “We are still in relationship.” I will still treat you as part of my family. To not forgive, in the Bible, is separating oneself from the one who offended you. Lack of forgiveness means we still remember the wrong done to us, and it hangs between us every time we interact with the person who wronged us. Forgiveness means that the relationship may continue without that wrong tainting every part of our relationship.
Why do we need forgiveness from God?
The fact is, we owe God a huge debt. Not economically, for God freely gave us all the food, clothing and basic needs we had. We owe God nothing for that. But for creating us and loving us and giving us a planet to rule, for that we owe him big time. It is similar to what we owe our parents for making us. Even if we don’t like them, we owe them something for without them we wouldn’t exist. Well, what God asks of us is our respect and obedience. He just wants us to listen to Him when he tells us to do things, because, after all, it’s for our own good anyway.
But we defaulted on our debt. We have disobeyed God again and again. In fact, we can almost say that a good portion of our lives are characterized by us owing God more and more and more. Almost every day we owe God such a huge debt of obedience, that we can never catch up. And frankly, we never will. The debt is too huge already.
So what did that do to our relationship with God? Well, though God loves us and wants to be with us, He can’t live with people who constantly disobey him. It’s kind of like living with someone who is constantly grating on your nerves, always doing the very thing you hate. You just can’t stand to live with that person. Life is like a torture. And God, the king of the universe, will not accept that. So we will not live in relationship with Him. Not until the debt is settled. Not until we deal with our disobedience.
Is God willing to give us forgiveness?
But God loves us. He really does. We may think, “Why doesn’t God just forget about our sin and leave it behind, if he loved us so much?” Well, it’s because we keep bringing it up. We are constantly disobeying God. But God loves us so much that he is willing to go to any length to restore our relationship. He is willing to do anything, short of giving up on us and our obedience. And frankly, God gave us a great opportunity. He gave us the possibility of forgiveness. It costs us a lot—I must admit— and yet we can gain so much. So how can this debt be wiped away?
Death of JesusFirst of all, God sent his Son, Jesus to die for us. Jesus death created a new nation called “the Kingdom of God” which anyone is allowed to enter. Those in the Kingdom of God can speak with God and have a free and open relationship with Him. They can pray to God and have their prayers heard and answered. They can receive wonderful blessings of God like His Holy Spirit and daily provision and healing. And they can understand what God says to them. To enter this kingdom, all one has to do is to commit to Jesus as their king. This means Jesus is in charge of our lives, and tells us what to do. And then we can have full access to God. If we commit ourselves to Jesus, then our debt of disobedience is fully forgiven.
Confession of Sin
However, we still have a problem. We still disobey God. Sometimes quite a bit. Does this make Jesus’ death null and void? No, because in Jesus we are told how to deal with the sins we do. We confess and repent of our sins. Yes, we will sin and disobey God. But if we admit our sin and then turn from anything that might cause us to sin, then we are forgiven. If we do this, Jesus gives us the strength to not return to our sin, if we would depend on him. That takes care of the sins we do daily.
Forgiving others
Well, then, our sinful life is erased, and our daily sins are repented of—everything is okay, right? Well, there still is one more thing, according to Jesus. You see, God hasn’t only forgiven us, but He has forgiven a number of others. We are all a part of Jesus’ kingdom together. But what happens if those who are forgiven by God don’t forgive each other? Well, suppose there were three people stuck in an elevator. Two of them hate each other’s guts, but they both like the other. Even though they have a relationship with one person, the anger and hatred of the other will make their life a living hell.
Even so, the kingdom of God doesn’t work unless we are willing to forgive each other even as God forgave us. If we agree that God has a relationship with someone—that He has forgiven their sins, and they are right before Him—then we need to have a relationship with them as well. Jesus is very clear about this—if we reject the one whom God accepts, then we will be rejected by God. If we are looking for God’s forgiveness, we will need to forgive others when they do us wrong.
Do we forgive literal “debts”?
There is still one more issue. We remember that forgiveness isn’t only relational, but economic. Does that mean that we need to forgive the literal, monetary “debts” as well? In Luke 6, Jesus said this: “Do good and lend, expecting nothing in return.” In other words, if someone owes you money—cold, hard cash—and they can’t pay it back, forgive it. Wipe it away. Just forget about it. Forgiveness of others isn’t just about sins, nor just about hurt feelings—although it includes all that. It also includes financial debts.
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